Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Indecisive.
When I was little, I tried not to think about the fact that I would eventually grow up and have to do something other than play. As a child I would have been perfectly content with playing Power Rangers with my cousin, Alex, for the rest of my life. But, I eventually came to realize that that just wasn’t an option for a career. And, just as I am now, I went from one idea to another for a career as often as I changed my shirt it seemed. For a while, for some reason, I wanted to be a librarian. I remember this because of my piano teacher’s reaction to it when I told her. Because if you know me, than you know there’s no way I could be a librarian. When I started riding horses I wanted to be a horse trainer. That lasted until my stirrup fell off and I landed face first on the ground. After that incident, I focused my energies on other animals and thought about becoming a veterinarian. Soon after that I realized I’d never be able to put up with animals, that can’t TELL you what’s wrong, all day every day. So, I thought… well, people can say what’s wrong, so maybe being a doctor would be alright. But, I hate blood. So, that was a no. Skipping ahead to the past year or so, I've flirted with the idea of becoming a social worker. But, I’m too scared to pursue that career for fear of becoming too attached to the cases and just ending up a complete emotional wreck. Throughout all of my years, I’ve thought about teaching, counseling, doctoring, and many other things… but, I’ve never been able to completely decide what I would be if I could be anything in the world. Even if there were no boundaries – nothing at all to hold me back, I’m still not sure if I could make a decision without trying a little bit of it all first.
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5 comments:
I feel a lot like you. Like I have no idea what I'm going to be. Except I never really had any idea what I wanted to be. Well, when I was like ten I wanted to be a plastic surgeon because I would watch those tv shows that show operations being done, but that stuff makes me sick now. And hey, you're writing's good, so I don't know whachutalkin' bout. Maybe when you get out of college there will be some sort of shining light and everything will work out perfect. I'm sort of hoping on that one.
I know so many people that are in the exact same boat as you. I can understand why you cannot decide. There are so many choices. If it was not for my dolphin experience, I do not know where I would be today. Who knows what kind of person I would be? I think at some point it will just happen for you. One day something will just click for you and you will know what you want to do. I know that may sound a bit like a fairytale thing to say, but I think if you experience a lot in your life then one of those experiences will just change something in your heart. That “thing” will let you know what you want to do with your future. I mean, of course, there are some exceptions, but I do believe that is how it will happen for you.
When I was little, I like you, also ran around playing, trying not to think about growing up and having to decide what to do with my life, but I knew that someday, I would have to. I went through an experience that inspired me to become a lawyer. Hopefully, you will find that one thing that inspires you, or experience that one thing that will help you to decide what you want to do with your life. The most important thing is to not let anyone else make that decision for you, and don't let someone else persuade you into becoming something that you aren't going to be satisfied with in 20 years.
So, I use to love power rangers too, and well, still have some of the things that i got back whenever they were the hottest thing on the planet. Well, they are sorta coming back in, so does that mean being a kid again is also? Knowing as a classmate, and how you are, I think something working with kids, sorta guiding would be good for you, maybe teacher, or something with social work. If you want to know about social work, Thomas’s mom works for social services or something like that, so I can hook you up. We can all do lunch or something one day. And well, I sorta already know what I want to do, and I have for awhile, but I can relate with the not knowing what to do part, but not with my life, but how can I help? Ya know..?
First of all, right on! I also used to play Power Rangers with my little sister and our neighbor in the front yard or until I found out that I was allergic to grass. Now that I think about it there was once when I too wanted to become a vet. Instead of being a horse trainer, I just wanted to be a horse rider. Who hates blood, it’s what keeps you alive, now saying that blood makes you sick is a little better.
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